Social Media Agony Aunt Search Terms Part 1: Social Media Addiction

This blog gets an obscene amount of hits for a site so under-updated and so un-SEOed. I would say ‘God knows how’ – but WordPress knows how. (WordPress is God?)

Anyway, using this omniscient Internet capability, I can see the main search terms that get people here. And I can see that these search terms are a CRY FOR HELP. So I’m going to offer some help.

Welcome to Social Media Agony Aunt Search Terms Part 1. (Suggestions for catchier names welcome. And knowing me there won’t be a part 2.)

facebook cigarettes

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MY BOYFRIEND CAN’T SEE THIS: Why Social Media Will Kill My Relationship (part 1)

LEGAL STALKING

A few weeks ago, the ladies at Pamflet asked me to speak at the London launch of Emma Koenig’s FUCK! I’M IN MY TWENTIES. It’s amazing, buy it. Anyway, I used this as an opportunity to find out what the audience thought of my online behaviour towards my boyfriend. They thought I was less of a psycho than I’d anticipated so I thought ‘sod it’ and turned my talk into a series of blog posts. This is part 1. And my boyfriend has now seen this.

I freak out every time my boyfriend wants to use my MacBook for something. I usually smack his hand away before he even has a chance to move the mouse to Chrome. I’d definitely rather accidentally break his DJing hand or whatever than see the look on his face if he discovered the dark secret that lies in wait on my home page if I haven’t cleared my browsing history in the last forty five minutes. But I’m not having a raunchy affair conducted entirely through Facebook chat, I don’t have a shameful past that could be revealed by an unfortunate email at any moment and there is no addiction to obscure pornography that could be exposed with a simple mistyped URL. The truth is far worse: my most visited sites will undoubtedly always be his Facebook and Twitter profiles.

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THIS USER DOES NOT EXIST: Confessions of a Twitter Addict who Deactivated Twitter

Hi. My name’s @littlemisswilde and I’m completely addicted to social media.* Social media addiction is starting to become recognized as a legitimate thing, and I’ll happily start attending group recovery when that becomes commonplace. But most people wouldn’t even realise that they have a problem. Being completely obsessed with my own behaviour, I did. So back in April, when I had a dissertation to finish, I deactivated all of my social networks and deleted all of the accompanying apps (this includes Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and DrawSomething**) for 4 days. And, as expected, I didn’t cope very well.

I don’t have any inbuilt self control and the replacement provided by Mac only comes in 24 hours doses and isn’t available on iPhone yet, so such a dramatic step really was the only way I could get those 8000 words in on time. This is a timeline of the symptoms I experienced for what was genuinely the most traumatic 72(ish) hour period of my life, which is essentially a storify of the #IRL Twitter feed I was keeping in the back of my dissertation notebook. Yes, really.

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